Unyo asks about how to work with the poison of ignorance, Kozan asks about difficulties that appear to intensify with practice, and Chiezan asks about how to live a sane life when there is intense negativity.
You might say, or you might think “Let’s have the fruition of this whole thing. I’m tired of running in circles and hearing ‘you’ll get there, keep going!’”. The Second Noble Truth, the cause of suffering is wanting things to be different than they are. We want things to be perfect.
Keep practicing. At some point you will look at the thought as an object and you will see if there is someone who sees that and see that what is arising and what thinks is arising is dissolved in perception only.
It’s not that you should sit still and meditate 24 hours a day, but you probably would do well to investigate, observe who this is and what the fundamental situation is before you jump into something. Meditation IS action. You watch what moves so that the action that gets strengthened is the ability not to grasp, reject or ignore what is in front of you. We are so fundamentally not separate. Meditation does not produce something. It reveals something. Instead of more peacefulness, you create less warfare. Peacefulness is already the case.
Meditation is very, very powerful. It is radical. It means going down to the root to find your own buddha nature. You might be a nice person with good intentions, but If you have not inspected radically, you will take your unexamined consciousness, your unexamined agenda and political ideas out into the world and it will get mixed up with the other aggression out there and you won’t be able to tell the difference. Not only will you suffer yourself, you will cause others to suffer. Clarify who you are and what is happening so you don’t have to rely on propaganda when you go out in the world, and don’t do anything unless you have to.